Davis?

Davis bible college?
am i going to you.....stay tuned

"Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less." Just something to think about.

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Replacing Lies with truth

So...this web blog i read (Lies young women believe) is having this thing where you can write a blog for them..so i am going to take a swing at it and see what happens :)
:::Replacing lies with truth:::
*It is completely impossible to REPLACE lies with truth..unless you know the truth (John 3:16)
Coming from a home where love wasn’t the number one thing happening…I have been exposed to a lot of lies. Lies like “You’ll never be good enough”, “you are disgusting”, “No one could ever love you”, “you are scum”. All of my life this was the “truth” set before me…so when I came to the saving knowledge of the Lord…when his TRUE love filled me…and there was truth set before me I didn’t know what to do with it. Even though now, I had the truth of Jesus and his ultimate sacrifice for me…His transforming love…I was still stuck in lies of not good enough, not pretty enough…..and I started cutting to deal with my anger and my sadness….every emotion I had that wasn’t a positive one went into cutting.
This went on for a while until I started going to a bible institute…where people loved me for me and I thought this was the answer….people loving me must be ok because God loves me..so it all clicked together for me…..but when someone would get angry at me, or I didn’t do something right..I’d get upset and run right back to cutting.. I still wasn’t believing in Gods truth that he had promised me…perfect peace, forgiveness, love everlasting and an abundant life. Abundant lives aren’t filled with hatred, bitterness and jealousy…which is what I was dealing with. With my friends and my family.
When I actually got into God’s word..and looked at the truths that he had put in there for me to read..for me to BELIEVE..that is when I finally started understanding that I could beat this sin. And the other sins that I had been dealing with because I CAN do all things through Christ..because HE gives me the strength to.
One specific truth that has been so big to me for a long time (Since I started living for Christ) is found in Isaiah 26:3 “you keep him in perfect because whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts you.” My whole world can be crashing down..my fault or maybe not my fault, but regardless..If I am thinking on the truths that Jesus has given me..the truth that is God..the truth of love forgiveness and his perfect holiness…How can I not be in perfect peace? Complete peace that passes understanding of this world? On the other side though, if we are completely thinking of ourselves, and how we screwed up of course we won’t be peaceful…we are thinking of ourselves..finite foolish creatures.
The only way to replace lies with truth is knowing and dwelling on truth. Nothing else will do it.

is it worth it now

Lord..i dont know.....
i really dont know what to do..i spent time in your word tonight Lord..cried to you and begged you...God i dont know WHY you are allowing this to happen I am trying so hard God...
*Sigh*
this fight is so hard
.......................................................................................

OH ANNE

OH! How I love Anne of green gables..SO MUCH!! And oh how much i love spaggeti ...and soda and cupcakes...OH AND SPENDING TIME w/ FRIENDS...i dont love any of those (Sept friends) as much as anne of green gables though :-D LOL!! I had such a great time w/ Tara and Crystal last night into this morning!!!
we got to the house and we decided to start working on the pumpkins..we quickly changed our minds though and decided if we made cupcakes then we could have them later..and that was just to good to pass up you understand!! :) So...we got to work on the cupcakes..once they were safe in the oven we started cutting open our pumpkins and loving making these crazy little jack-o lanterns.. :-D
I made mine look like the Canadian flag..and then i tried to make Anne of green gables..but oh let me tell you that flopped....i can barely even tell the lettering says anne..:) LOL but it's ok..we had SO much fun doing it..it makes up for the ridiculousness of mine haha
after we did the pumpkins we decided it was time for dinner..and it was time to start watching anne of green gables...(we had decided to watch all of them) ok..this was like at 11..i think? Well let me just tell you i didnt get done watching it until 6:30 am! LOL
Ok..i forgot a really IMPORTANT FACT.....we had to strain and pick out Pumpkin seeds from stinking 8 pumpkins and then from the ones WE had...we decided we wanted to cook them but had to stinking wait for them to dry out..well you know me..you know that i dont enjoy waiting for natural things to happen..so i grabbed a hair dryer and decided to go craazZyyYy!! LoL WHICH HEY just to let you know IT WORKED and it was great ;)
anyway..so yes i spent my night and morning watching Anne of green gables and then the sequal and then the continuing story...
:-D
GOOD TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!

Right!

lately i have been struggling w/ a lot of things..and i am going to be very real right now and say that....dieting..and making myself throw up is one of them..and I really..have just been over come with this..i feel gross..and ugly..and not believing the promises that God has for me..and how foolish it is for me to believe these things...

I was really convicted to read isaiah 43...and ephesians...Gods faithfulness and then who I am in him...Oh praise him for his goodness and my ridiculousness....YA
(the poem is one that i wrote today..really just talking about my struggles and whats going on in my life)

ya...I want to be so ...in love w/ Gods word that I can tell truth from lies..and i know i can tell truth from lies but i want to believe the truth rather then the lies..and that has been a huge problem with me..and...if i could just believe them it would make it so much better...for me to be able to trust Christ instead of believing the things that I shouldn't...he promised me he would never leave me or forsake me and i am so thankful for that..he promises me that he loves me....he DIED FOR ME!! And he rose again...

Oh PRAISE HIM

Day 2

W-O-W
So...today is my 2nd day doing this...settingcaptivesfree.com eating safe thingie..let me just tell you..even though it is a little more difficult then I thought it would be..it's going well...forcing me to really cling to Christ regardless of whats going on...
Yesterday....was a half day...all food=half portions..that was ok..but hard...today is liquid day..i only get to have 1 real meal..the rest is juices, you know water..LIQUIDS....
I slept through breakfast but woke up and had some water..juice for lunch and now i am having some chai tea latte...except its cold ;) woooow baby!! How i change things up lol..so obviously i choose dinner to be the real meal...idk what i am going to eat yet..because i am going bowling..so that will be splended!
^_^ I get to see my sister and I am so pumped. i am bringing my camera ....i have missed her so much and i get to see some old friends....it's going to be interesting..i need to live my life the way Christ has shown me how to live...
:)
<3>

FWD: jamesmacdonald: If submitting to what God allows and not giving up was simple, everyone would be doing it.

Absolutly no reason

*sigh* I dont really know why I am here..i feel like no one wants me here, and i feel like i am just being hated on. It is really ridiculous quite honestly and I am sick of it. I wont leave though..I need to get my computer fixed, my permit is coming in the mail, and a lot of other things are going on that i need to make sure happen...but leaving and making sure that im happy isnt one of them.....
I am going to my good friends wedding ...in about 6 weeks...-_- TOO LONG!! I cannot wait to go to Ohio and see them..I may even be able to see a friend of mine living in Indiana..so i am pretty pumped about that. even if not though it'll be good!
.....I am trying to keep a positive side about being home..but its very quickly losing its step..I want my bible back that my friend has at school so badly..i live 45 minutes away and guess what i still dont have it and shes been at school for...a week now
*Sigh* i havent had it for 3

A WEEK thats changed my life...hUH?!

W-O-W....
can i please just tell you how this week has completely SHAKEN any idea i had about this year and how it was going to go?....
Today(last week) I was so excited to go back to word of life..I was shaking w/ anticipation, ready to get out of this house and packed already! Monday came...( I wanted to leave and be there wednesday) I got a call...and i really thought nothing of the $ aspect..i thought oh...it'll be taken care of. i mean..in all honesty i've never had to worry about that..to much..so i talked to my mom and ya we just figured id all work out so i was still ready to go..ya God ya..im going on wednesday yes i am....
Tuesday-in the morning thought it was all figured out and was excited still all packed, still ready to go...Then my mom told me that night i couldn't go...and my heart crashed..I mean i think legit crashed...I had myself a good ol' self pitty party...because lets face it..if i had a choice to be home..or there....(id be anywhere else but home) ...
wed-well the rest of the week..I am not going to lie..it has been one of the hardest weeks of my life.. DONT GET ME WRONG...this isn't me just whining because i am not going to wol..( i am ) BUT being home isnt...great...
All this week i have faught (and still am honestly) fighting feelings of anger,doubt(as to this is the right thing) come on ...God you sure (YOU"VE BEEN THERE 2),jealousy...and feeling like people are forgetting me...
But....today at church ..and through psalm 86,psalm 145...God has just really been showing me how GOOD he is..and how he LOVES me and how he has plans for my good..and these things are so good for us to know..but when you...live it, when you feel it..its completely different. Now please dont misunderstand me. I KNOW People are going through things a lot worse then me. If i could stop and explain all the circumstances to you...well i probably wouldn't but..that's ok ...regardless of the circumstances..God is still there showing us who we are and who HE IS ...(that's the better one).....
NOW WHAT I'VE LEARNED (this week) CAUSE I HAVE...A LOT :::
1. I need to stop complaining- I go through things i don't like..and instead of looking for what God is doing in it..i sit there and say this isn't fair, i dont deserve it and blah....

2.(Praising God in all things) Wooo...I NEED to do that..and it goes so much better when i do...

3.Trials/problems (yes dr.wicks) Really are our little buddies...they are showing me who God is..and how much strength he has...and how weak I am

4.God wants to make me more like his son....and he is going to do what it takes to make that happen. some of us learn easier then others..(i've never been a fast learner) LOL
-i am not saying God's punishing me...btw....I can choose to be thankful or complain

5.I cannot count on people....I shouldn't count on people..(this is something very hard for me) when i hurt..i want to talk to people about it..i want people to be around so I DONT FEEL the pain....but that's not the way it should be.... I AM COMPLETE in CHRIST..not in YOU *whoever is reading* lol... :)
-God is my strength and my salvation....(not my best friend...not my mom...not my brother, my sister....or Mrs.Bennett) (had to add her in) .... :)

...OK Legit..im done rambling....but I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW God has such great things planned for me..and It's still going to be a struggle for me but I KNOW he is able..and I am able w/ him *phil 4:13*
..:)

Pain

Lord,
This hurts me a lot..and i know you know that. and Lord i am so thankful that you do not waste my pain. God i pray that you would allow me to do well with this. Lord even though im not at the school I KNOW I can grow, and i can change..and Lord I KNOW that you are doing big things.. and that if it's your will...I will be able to go back to wol. this is only for a time and God i am so thankful that you are willing to do this for me. Lord i just.....I dont know what to do God my heart hurts so badly right now..I am lonely, i do not have Christian friends to hang out with and this is hard.....
I will continue to praise your name..because God, just because this happened doesnt mean you aren't good..I know you want me to be more and more like you Lord...and I hope and pray that I can continue growing.
Help me deal w/ this pain in a Godly way. Lord honoring to you..not myself and this stupid pain i feel...God i love you and i know you have whats best for me

g (:?N????{N??Z?;: "?A?2h?~??e ?
???? ?~????????e? tG?A?7?^ ??i? 4 ???9?, ??y ?
??? ::?>?Att? B??tP} J???r?z?Att t|?Ai7h?v??o6?m ??

AHHHHHHH

here is my frustration...
I dont know if im going to be able to go to the school that im completely in love w/...and that God has shown me thus far that I need to....*slams head*...and now i dont know if i can because they dont have somewhere for me to stay now because someone messed it up and i dont have the money it seems like..its just so frustrating because i know..or thought i knew God had me there..and this is 2days before..what else am i supposed to do?!?!
....i am truly trying not to flip out..but i dont know what else i would do..or where i would go..i cannot stay home i will flip out...my parents dont want me here and im ok w/ that because i dont want to be here
sorry..i know i am flipping out but COME ON...*sigh*
I know..i need to trust God i need to know that he is in control and that he has my best interests..and that he never will do anything to hurt me...
*slam*

ya

I am waiting to go to church...sadly my madre is SO SLOW and so..as i sit here...waiting for her to come..i thought..what better way (besides trying to fix my phone...which is FROZEN) would be to ...come here and write down whats been going on in my life...

*sigh* I have been so bored lately..but getting ready to go back to school on thursday (hopefully wednesday) ...but ANYWAY ....yes ive been very bored lately. yesterday..i went school shopping and got one of those famous keurig..thingies...k cups you know? Im pumped....

This year is going to be so great at school and I cannot wait to get it started..as scared as i am..lol i need to find my chucks because i havent been able to find them and cannot imagine where i would put them...*sigh* Im a little scared about that..just because they are so obviously mine i dont think someone would steal them but idk where they would be..

Last night i made a pillow case for a body pillow a friend gave me..and I AM SO PUMPED it looks so great..mismatched and I <3>

its hot right?
ANYWAYS

O the wonderful cross..

I am so thankful for the cross...I am thinking about it today..and im going to make it my goal to think about it everyday.....
I've been convicted lately that i do not think about the resurrection at all...im thankful for the cross and im thankful that he died for me..but if he didnt rise then what would be the joy of this life? yay someone died for you and thats good dont get me wrong but...our promises is held..our truth, our HOPE is held int he resurrection
<3....
God is so good to us and we dont really think about it sadly...AHhHhHHhhhHH he is so good to us! LOL
if you havent been thinking about what Christ has done for you..and what God sacraficed...sending his son please think about it today :)

ya

Im reading this book called Redeeming Love, and oh my word..it is so good already and i am only on the 4th chapter..this is going to be one of those books i get so addicted to that i cannot even stop to sleep..i feel it lol
God is blessing me and confusing me...well ok he isnt confusing me i shouldnt say that...life is confusing me..
i want to praise him through w/e happens..
I dyed my hair today w00t...the last time for a year

a bum

wow...
what a loser i am.. Haven't been on this thing in forever...I HAVE A REASON THOUGH..ok? Lets recap..since August 22nd..I have been in 3 different states....
the 22nd i went from NY-NH...i was in NH until this last tuesday...when I came to maine. OH wow it's been a break where God has certainly shown me how foolish i am..and how great he is. I had a great time in NH learning a lot of things that i wish i didnt but it's ok..because God's got my back. MAINE OH MY WORD...since the moment i stepped foot i have loved it. I Have been blessed beyond...all i thought would ever happen and i have just had an amazing time. i got to go to the ocean, go in..take lots of pictures o man!! SO GREAT.....
All good things must come to an end though..right? Well..tomorrow I head back to NY. i get to spend one night at the B.I (bible institute) were i will be in another couple of weeks..but i have to go home for about 12 days...after the one night of joy...*sigh* It saddens me to go back so soon but it will be nice at the same time. I am going to get a tattoo fixed, and i am going to enjoy air conditioning and hopefully..I SAY HOPEFULLY see my sister..who i miss..A LOT <3 ..anyway...that is what has been going on and i am terribly sorry for not writing in so long...i will try to write every day..although tomorrow might not happen :)

i can finally breathe

AWESOME! finished the summer...(camp) anyways..and now i am at the B.I again. waiting to graduate..TOMORROW!! I cannot believe that it is seriously almost over...and i will start over again in...3 weeks ;) LOL ...I am going to Sheilas house tomorrow..and i am so excited..that i am going..:) YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY
...God is so good...and i cannot wait to write about it..when I HAVE TIME...(which isn't now) so i will write later most def..
<3 u people

my mind is wandering

ok..wow..back at camp and i was so THROWN back into things..deeper then they were when I left. but OH how thankful I have become to know that Our God is a God who works..*laughs* I AM SO THANKFUL to know that he is always working regardless of how we feel about things. We have a camper who is a very big cutter, and she is addicted to many things and..oh i was so angry with God t0 let me have her this week because she is very much like me...OH so much like me..down to the poetry and the way she puts up walls..o..but then my friends put me back in my place..showing me who God is and how foolish of me to question it at...all ...SO today is my day off and so thankful for the opportunity to fellowship with my friends and see what Gods doing :) OH YA LOL

I love these girls.....;) Look at them look at them im the one in the fro lol

GOD IS SO GOOD

....he is allowing me to go back to the island to counsel for this last week...oh God you are just so good I am so thankful for what you do...*smiles* OH he is so good...*dances* that means i will be gone...until..september..idk if i will be able to write on this..but i will try...
Pray for us this week as we are going through the last week of camp and i cannot wait to see what God does !!!!!
*giggles* ohh yes Lord!
In other news..i burnt my ear on a curling iron.. I will never curl my hair again LOL <3

tell me the truth

I need to get something off of my chest....
#1-how can you claim to be a Christian..and yet tell me you love me, and hate me..and that you think im not a Christian because i wont date you...then MONTHS later when i try to make things right( WHEN I DID NOTHING WRONG ) you call me a tumor and dis me again..and then on top of that talk to all the people i know and love just to get to me...
#2-GROW UP AHHHHHHHHHh
-_-...sorry I really needed to get that out..not that anyone really reads this anyway but..it's a good way for me to vent ha..im getting my tattoo fixed tomorrow PTL...i am so sick of looking at it the way it is..hopefully she can fix my butterfly one as well but if not..i will just have to pay full price to get that fixed which would be saddening to me lol..but its special to me so..i want to get that fixed...im excited to get mine fixed up..im nervous because i got burned with her once..but i do love her, and i just really want to be proud of her when i show her off you know? which is going to happen since shes ON MY LEG ha...:) ...hmmm God has been so good to me today..I had a huge no soda drinking headache. so i had a little bit of coffee and it made me feel a lot better...spent some time in Gods word today and just loving it! I watched LAink pretty much all day,after i did dishes and laundry..i felt like a bum but i really did a bit of work..lets see..i have to work on my room tomorrow..getting ready for college and all...Im going to be in New Hampshire until school starts with my friend Sheila and i am so pumped about that! it is going to be 3 weeks of complete crazy fun...and w000t i am so excited!! :)

That's it..for the day lol im waking up early in the a.m..9 for the tat fix so..;) here we go lovey doves...so thankful for this girl fixing it for 30bucks..thats not bad at all <3
ENDING ON A LOVELY NOTE
-Lovely- HA

update major

it has been 80 days since i cut 80 80 80 80 80 80 80 80 YES 80! HOW EXCITING!!! I cannot even believe it, i mean..of course I can my God is faithful and he has made it so hat i have power enough in him to do this....:-D PRAISE THE LORD...oh man! so
I decided to ....make this 80 day excitement i've also decided to stop drinking soda...so that starts today and...i am excited to make this change. i am also going to try to do 30 minutes of exorcise everyday. i already did 33 today, and i want to do some more when my mom gets home. I want to be healthy..:)
I also have decided im going to be myself..or well better put, who God has made me to be.. I am done trying to make other people happy...it isnt the way i was made to live, and i refuse to do it :) ANY LONGER :-D
God you are so good, and you are the only voice that i should be listening to. Lord I know you put many things into my life that I dont particularly like, but Lord you are in control of it all and i am so thankful for that. God thank you for giving me people in my life who really love me. Lord who really care for who i am and what ive been through. and God i thank you that you love me regardless of all ive done to hurt you Lord, all i've done to ruin your name. You are so forgiving and so amazing. Lord help me forgive those who hurt me God, who all they want to do is put me down. I know that isn't your will Lord so i ask for those people to realize what they are doing to themselves by acting like that towards people, and lord help them grow in you
thank you Lord

lifting up prayer for the stumps

God right now i come before you on behalf of Randi and Graham Stump. Lord Randi is hurting so badly right now Lord, you know Graham's status..and Lord. the doctors say he wont wake up and if he does, that in itself will be a miricle, Lord that if he does he will only be able to "survive" God we believe in such a bigger God then that. Lord we believe that you can heal him completely, lord you've done it so many times..God show them..who you are Lord i ask you to give the family comfort and peace beyond ALL this world could understand. God that you would show them your love like never before.

Im a fanatic

A moment of frustration...in my day...why do people think that as Christians we need to let everyone walk all over us...guess what THATS NOT WHAT BEING A CHRISTIAN IS ABOUT...we are to love and we are to care for people..but we will stick up for what we believe in and we will say how much we love Christ, pray for our food and if you dont like it that we dont curse, drink, or smoke...guess you'll have to deal with it because that is were I stand..Of course we aren't perfect..I know i screw up way more then i should, and i know that it isn't going to be easy...but GOD IS SO GOOD and gives us so much to look for..im just so sick of people complaining because I am a fanatical...w/e ...you know what if you call fanatic being different ,sticking up for what i believing in and telling you guess what..if you dont believe in my God you will go to hell *Shrug* It's the truth and if the truth is fanatic...then ;)
IM A F A N A T I C fanatic i'll rep christ until i d i e
<3

I LOVE IT

Today was such a fantastic day! and i spent most of it with my best friend Katelyn!! She came and got me and we headed to the beach!! It was SO beautiful! (even if it was a little chilly) we lay there for a bit and just listened to people, and had little laughs here and there *shrug* after about an hour of that, we decided that swimming wasn't the best because of the wind..(and all i brought was a blanket and pillow...not a towel) so...we got up and decided to grab some pizza, popcorn and a movie! We did so and went to her grandmothers and watched tim burton's 9! It was pretty cute..you could definitely tell a tim burton film! After the movie, i had the bright idea of going to the grave yard and chilling there, and reading some grave stones...so of course WE DID
<3
so yeah...this is katelyn and the "Hand" grave..we couldn't help ourselves..ya maybe we are jerks but W/E they are dead and they love us doing this..because you know what when im dead..TAKE ALL THE PICS OF MY GRAVE YOU WANNA BABY cause im not going to be here...<3>
Yeah...so this is me by some cool cross one...yah...after that we went to another grave yard that's actually..like 4 min from my house...and it's HUGE..i never realized how big it was b4...and we went to the very back to start..and there was like...a machine to dig new graves..i wanted a picture near it but Katelyn said no way :) LOL
it was so fun and i am so thankful for my friend...lol .....
After that we came back to my house and just chilled, listened to music and played a cemetery game on her computer for like 40 min. after that she decided to go..and that's been my day :)
Tomorrow is church and i am so looking foward to it!

A lesson from Hosea

Hosea 2:13-16 (New International Version)

¹³ I will punish her for the days
she burned incense to the Baals;
she decked herself with rings and jewelry,
and went after her lovers,
but me she forgot,"
declares the LORD.

¹⁴ "Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her.

¹⁵ There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Achor ^a]">[a] a door of hope.
There she will sing ^b]">[b] as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.

¹⁶ "In that day," declares the LORD,
"you will call me 'my husband';

you will no longer call me 'my master. ^c]">[c] '

WOW....So i was reading this and it was so exciting to think about..the Lord does punish us when we are stupid..he punishes us because he loves us..BUT GUESS WHAT..right after he punishes us...he brings us out and he shows us his love. he shows us what we've done and what he did..and how he loves us..the depth of that love and the greatness of it!! *sigh* it's so wonderful that we have a God who wants us. Who loves us enough to take us out show us the wrong and help us fix it, then reward us and love on us more....W-O-W
GREAT ARE YOU LORD AND WORTHY OF PRAISE.....
Lord thank you so much for all you've done for me. Lord thank you for showing me your love, and especially your grace and mercy when I do stupid things Lord. You are my all in all, you are the only thing Lord that keeps me going and i am so thankful for that. Lord im thankful that you have put in my life the people that I love. Lord the people that maybe i dont love as much as i should. Help me with that Lord..help me realize why you put these people in my lives, and help me love them just as much as you do. God you are SO GOOD
Amen

He is so faithful

TODAY
was a great day! I Went to the island..and got to see my friends! Oh how exciting to see how God is working in the lives of my friends on the island, and in these teen girls lives!! HOW THEY CHANGE.. It was really really cool! got to sit under the teaching of wise men of God..so good just to hear the lessons again. i've heard some of them before but oh what God teaches you when you are really listening and want to learn from his word..it was so key to me today...
:::that all I can do is abide...that's all I have strength to do..and even that strength is from him::: praise the Lord that he has such power and strength..to give us power and strength <3.....
Going home tomorrow...I don't want to. id love to stay in North Hudson forever, or hey maybe at the island with my friends for the last 2 weeks..but that isn't what God has for me..and I am excited to see what the rest of the summer brings. and the good God has in it for me :)...for I KNOW he is faithful..even when im not :)
<3

crazyness

I miss those people more then life ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ <3
wow..God has been teaching me so much *shakes head*i love it so much but at the time it seems so painful..but isnt that learning ;) ...lol
I am so excited to see God and his good through all of this..it still hurts a lot ..but i am so thankful for people like the bennetts..that show me the good, and who hang out with me and just get my mind off the hard things..lol
Hes been showing me so much just lately about what he does for us and what he can do through us if we give him our whole lives..if we dont just give him bits and pieces..like oh yeah Lord you can have my ...time but not my love life, or Lord those friends..they are....well I know they arent the best Lord but.. *shakes head*
Im learning SO much about his sovereignty and his love...

I have a question, and id so appreciate it if you could help me... My sister is living with her ex's bf's family..the dad gets drunk and hits on her...and they do pot...
I told her that she needs to leave...she says she hates me and she says that shes going to leave and never talk to me again.....
*sigh*
I dont know if im doing the right thing

God you are so good

W-o-W i dont even really know what to say...except thank you Lord, and forgive me for being so foolish as to think I could cling any less..Lord that I would think..I could possibly step away from that bubble Lord and be ok..that I had it "all under control" Lord thank you so much for humbeling me and showing me that in fact i dont have it under control Lord and i will probably ALWAYS need to cling on to you for that. God you've been so good to me..Lord and i am again just so sorry..*sigh*
Lord you...are so good and so strong.
Thank you for being the strength that keeps me going Lord. Thank you for being the one who loves me when no one else does. and lord the one who loves me more then anyone else COULD love me even if they tried. Lord i just...i cant imagine anyone loving me more then you, and i thank you so much for allowing me to see that today Lord. the pure...love that you have for me God, that isn't selfish or Lustful. I am so thankful for that Lord. Help me love you the same Lord. with all of my heart. willing to do anything for you Lord. Not wanting to back down when it gets hard Lord.
thank you again Lord...and right now Lord i want to give my expectations to you. God it's so hard when my hear thinks so many things ...oh Lord you are so good and i ask that you keep my mind stayed on you because that is were the peace is..

G-O-N-E

Ok! I just thought id let you all know that I am going to be away for the week...tonight until the following sunday. It will go by fast I assure you ;) and you won't miss me to much ^_^ I am going to my "new" aunts house. she is my age and I am very excited to be spending a week with her..and just a teaser..when i come back..i'll be different. im not going to share exactly how yet but...You'll know thats for SURE <3

Communion what is it/isn't it

W-O-W God is so good!! Church was excellent! Let me just tell you!! we talked about what Communion is/isn't! And it was awesome so im going to share it w/ you ;)
WHAT COMMUNION ISN'T::::
*It doesn't save you-acts 16:31;Ephesians 2:8-9;Romans 10:9-10
*It doesnt make you a better Christian- col 2:10
*Isnt showing you are in good fellowship with God -matthew 22:37-40;Galatians 5:22-23
*Doesnt in itself restore fellowship with God -1 corinthians 11:1;1 john 1:9,Revelation 2:5 (REPENT)
*Will not have communion during the millenium. it will happen until he returns.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
WHAT COMMUNION IS:::::
*it is for believers 1 corinthians 11;1 corinthians 1; Hebrews 12
*A matter of obedience-1 corinthians 11:24
*Intended to be a showing of your relationship with God vs 29 of 1corinthians 11.
vs 29-examine yourself...examine=inspect closely=
*communion is to remember what Christ did..his death. it is in essence a memorial service.
(John 3:16,Romans 5:8, 1John 5, Acts 4:2;John 10:17-18,Philippians 2:7-8)

It is so easy for us sometimes to forget exactly what God had to deal with when we live our daily lives. Communion really is for us to stop and think about exactly what he went through and how we need to remember that.
(HE DID IT FOR ME) REMEMBER THAT

bitter oblivion

It has been a hard day...*Shrug* I know that the world is all going to hate me believing in God. that they aren't going to love the fact that I dont want to do the things that I used to do..because well That isn't the way they roll..today was hard because my family was hardcore against me..a lot and just bringing up the past and it hurt a lot..i had to walk outside for them not to see me cry it was just HARD...but *shrug* On the upside i did get some good talk about just how God has changed me and that's why i dont do the things that i once did..Idk how far it will go but *shrug* I also decided that my children are not going to get a facebook..or anything on the internet until they are older..I Saw this issue about this 11? year old girl..who got screwed with on youtube and then oh man forgive me but "All hell broke loose" and the words she spoke i could barely listen to it..*Shakes head* it just made me really sad..i was disgusted quite frankly...what is the world coming to?!?! (anYway) sorry..getting on ranting..i got to make some steak on the grill today andi t was epic <3

what started your selfinjury habit and how were you able to finally stop??

Started it? control..I wanted control over the things in my life and wouldn't give it to God..what stopped it? I struggle still but giving my problems to God..just giving up that control that I didn't really have in the first place

Ask me anything

I AM SO BORED

Today:: I woke up way to early.....and i was just so not ready for the day of nothingness to start. although i have done some laundry which i read my bible which is nice..and i have ...tried to get ahold of the bank which is fail tabular UGH anyway! I have found more friends who are most likely coming to 2nd year! (Which is very exciting) *nods* but just...I HATE WAITING..i hate doing nothing lol and there is only so much i can do..especially now since i dont have a car and i dont have anyone here...sitting in this house alone..listening to radio shows..i am so thankful this isnt going to be my life forever..*laugh* Id go INSANEthese girls came to see me yesterday..they help me w/ my sanity.. <3>

Heavy Hearted

It is just so overwhelming today...the knowledge that as Christians we are failing so horribly...oh man! I am learning more and more, how people who claim to be Christians are just being judgmental, ..not caring people..or they are living just like the world and having other Christians judge them! NO WONDER the world doesn't want anything to do with our God when we act like he doesn't exist most of the time...*Sigh* I am not saying i am completely out of the race for this..I KNOW I do some pretty stupid things A LOTT ...but my heart is just breaking today knowing that there is such a great good we could do in this world...to show Gods love and we chose to do what we want to instead.... *sigh*
Lord..help me not want to do what I want Lord..but help me be more like you everyday..Lord empty me of what is like myself..and give me more of you daily....moment by moment Lord make me like you...Help me show love to those who need love more then they know. Lord help me be a light to this world Lord..and not a hypocrite ....I love you Lord
amen

no chair

Today ...was a bit of a roller coaster im not going to lie *shrug* It was hard because i was a lone for a lot of the time in the morning..and i couldn't sleep what soever..i hate it when i have nightmares but...o well..My friends Katelyn and Paul came over and we played wii, ate some food and then katelyn and i played life on the computer. it was a lot of fun and we loooved it. My mom got home and started yelling at me...we got a new floor and i had put a chair on it that she asked me not to. i felt like an idiot..but ...it was my b..*Shrug*I just wish shed not make such a big deal...about it. it was an honest mistake but *Shrug* Im going to start reading the driving Manuel for my permit again hopefully i can get it before i go back to school then someone will be able to teach me how to drive..that'd be so epic..idk we'll see what God has :) Im tired..but i want to write some encouraging notes to my friends who will be here soon to see me!! :)
^_^..*note to self* do not put chair on wood floor ...
ugh

I need a hero

Home....
ugh *shrugs* back to same old same old i guess..it isn't my favorite but w/e...I know God is still doing things but today was hard..my dad just yells at me randomly, and i wanted to talk to my mom on the phone so i called and it was ignored 2xs and i didnt get why..but then my dad answered and was like no you cant talk to her..*sigh* UGHSSSSSS..oh well w/e..i feel like one day they will miss me when im not here anymore..and i have my own family..*Shrugs* their loss I suppose. Anyways...I am going to be an example..i am not going to live like i deserve respect..it's not the way it needs to be..its not the truth and thats what im living for now...
On the upside I went to see my best friend today! We went to church together, had a birthday party for her and went swimming!! Oh man was it ever fun! after that we got some pizza and some snacks and we pigged out, played rockband and just relaxed..it was beautiful <3

thankful

Well...
Im home..and i cannot say that im extremely excited but you know what that's ok. God is going to awesome work here..just the same that he would if i was at the island still. I am going to get my own unique ministry because i am going to allow my friends to come here and we are going to have good food and we can have free laundry and im so excited to be able to do that for them! I am also very excited to get to go to church tomorrow..man it's been forever since ive been at my church so it'll be nice to see who is going still and how everyone is doing ^-^..so so excited. Im also very excited to be going to 2nd year..and just getting ready for that :)
God is so good and i am thankful that he doesnt waste tears or pain. i tell you what. leaving today was one of the hardest things ive done in a very long time...im just so thankful for God and his love..<3i style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5497621305507252242" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXUrHs7fAn8VTySUTzVDaj0A9DX99SvHA2jy-HEcgar7Ol14PicENtc6PIozvW_IGZ598Z8jegNraz_gHcwVsGf99fjla1Kh8ty2q89I6LoQvrhqKuL6nOzMoSa5NcTrHqgua-wX5N6XtN/s320/DSCN5442.JPG">

dd

I'm at war with the world
And they try to pull me into the dark
I struggle to find my faith
As I'm slipping from your arms

It's getting harder to stay awake
And my strength is fading fast
You breathe into me at last

I'm awake, I'm alive
Now I know what I believe inside
Now it's my time
I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life

(Here, right now)
Right here, right now
Stand my ground and never back down
I know what I believe inside
I'm awake, and I'm alive

I'm at war with the world
'Cause I ain't never gonna sell my soul
I've already made up my mind
No matter what, I can't be bought or sold

When my faith is getting weak
And I feel like giving in
You breathe into me again

I'm awake, I'm alive
Now I know what I believe inside
Now it's my time
I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life

(Here, right now)
Right here, right now
Stand my ground and never back down
I know what I believe inside
I'm awake, and I'm alive

Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up in the dark

I can feel you in my sleep
In your arms, I feel you breathe into me
Forever hold this heart that I will give to you
Forever I will live for you

I'm awake, I'm alive
Now I know what I believe inside
Now it's my time
I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life

(Here, right now)
Right here, right now
Stand my ground and never back down
I know what I believe inside
I'm awake, and I'm alive

Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up

ug

At the B.I with some really great friends..and i am so excited!!!
I get to see my friends and hang at the b.i w00 to the t000t

peace&love

Today::I am feeling so MUCH better it's so great!! I am enjoying it large amounts lol (if you couldn't imagine that) I am very excited to be able to see friends today..i get to see Stephanie, and i get to hang out with some others that i haven't seen in a while and i am very very EXCITED!!
I will go back on the island probably at like 10:30,11ish..and let me just tell you how excited about that i am o_0...anyways..haha the point is im pretty pumped..regardless of what happens today that i can see my friends!! the rest of this week is going to be well..i have physical therapy tomorrow and a drs appointment thursday..o_0 i tell you this week is going to be crazy but you know God is going to do what he is going to do :) and i know there is a reason for all of it..i took my hair out of my braids finally..oh my word o baby...is the correct term for what my hair looked like lol it looks much more alive currently..and well behaved but ;) shh you dont need to know that ;) ....Im off for now but we shall see what happens later :-p

Summer tHuS faR

OH MY WORD *Shakes head* can I please tell you how insane this summer has been...week for has been..well lets just say this week has thrown me for a loop...The last have rocked my world and God has been teaching me SO much..let me catch you up to speed a little bit

Week1-w-o-w week Hen House 1 getting me back in the mood for counseling...to show people God's love..and just.. the joy that you get from ...really learning people...even who were born in christian homes, and people who are supposed to know "everything" really need as much help as everyone... who wasn't born in a christian home ;)

Week2-stonewall..oh man...God just taught me...UGH just how to love..and how to be there for other counselors. God did so much in my patience that week and i am so thankful for that..I can honestly say that even though it was hard...

Week3-OH MY WORD....Culvene *sigh* ....let me tell you God worked the most in this week...( i know it has only been 4 weeks right now but....) OH...wow God wow..he totally blew up my thoughts of him. He showed me how selfish I am, how much i thought I knew how to love..and God shot that down and showed me how much i didnt know about his love or about him...*shakes head* He also showed me my fear of man and the fact that i have a control issue...::: BUT I DECIDED I AM GOING TO 2nd YEAR::::

Week 4-well..i cant say much of the campers except i know God will do something..sadly ive been sick most of the week so idk...I was in sick bay yesterday...and oh it was not such a good day in my thinking (although i do know God has a plan)...anyway ...im still in quarantine..well (kinda) Im at the Bennett's house right now relaxing and just enjoying family !!! I am excited to see what God has for me..and my friends...
im going to try to continue writing about my summer..hopefully it wont take me to week 8 to write about the rest ;)

blogger or stalker?

So! Tonight i will start this blog off with a question. Have you ever watched Julie&Julia? ...odd let me just tell you..i was very confused about this movie..as to wither this girl was a stalker or if she indeed was just a blogger..i think you should watch it and ask the question to yourself..!hmm... So let me just tell you i am sick..i've been sick...and i just really...*sigh* ..well i feel better now but i threw up and ugh i had to wait to get seen and blah de dah..let me just tell you..=} i am actually at a friend of mine's house..(MAN) let me just tell you...i love it and i am so thankful for being here...ok so we watched movies i chilled out and man it is so good to just sleep.... SO let me tell you ...this summer has been completely insane...I am so thankful that God has allowed me to be there..but i have been so challanged...i have to go back and talk to a lot of people about things going on in my life. I have realized i have such a fear of man..and i am a control freak..and i truly need to work on that *sigh* So much learning this summer..and im killing myself trying to figure out..how to work on this..but then God shows me exactly that I CANT DO IT and how exciting is that to know.....that man o man..God can do it all and i have nothing to do at all <3
lol..that is the end of my rambling

yes

Wow!! What an epic day..and yes i must say epic...we went swimming and then we ran from rain..and then after that went for dinner and then ice cream and then we went to the store and we bought some things and let me just tell you it was a lot of fun..i am so excited that it was such a good time :) We got to sing praise songs as we were eating ice cream and it was just so cool to be able to praise God like that..out in the opening enjoying Gods love...:)
Well day off is done so must go ;)
<3

What are you doing with ur summer

W-O-W summer has just started..and let me tell you ALREADY I have seen what God has been doing and the start of his work in me..and it's exciting/scary all at the same time! We had bible hour with John Boquet this week...and he really challenged us to get something to God. and i really chose my body..Um i feel like sometimes we use everything B-U-T the very bodies we have to serve God..because honestly thats the biggest battle..I had a really hard time yesterday but i took out my gauges yesterday night. I cried...and i was frustrated but i really do believe that God has me to do that and so I want to allow my whole body to serve him..and NO I DONT THINK GAUGES ARE WRONG..nor do i think that they are sinful..i love them...a (LOT) and am a bit broken hearted that they are out but...I promised God and he has shown me this..I do NOT want to miss a chance to speak about Gods love because I have huge holes in my ears..maybe people wont listen...or maybe you know it'll be a better ministry if i dont have them...i just...i dont know all i know right now is that i feel like its an important thing and i want to follow God..f you could pray for me this summer and all the island staff honestly..that we would do what God has us to do. that we dont follow what is easiest for us, or allow things to take hold of us that shouldnt...*nods* thats the summer so far....i go back a bit late for 2nd week but thats ok i'll have 7 weeks after this lol...<3

the weekend

So...We moved to the island last night..and the previous days (since friday) We have been working on it and around starting to get it ready...and let me just tell you how excited I am getting..lol yesterday was a lot of fun. I painted with some new friends...and at night when we actually MOVED there moved there...i watched a basketball game on the side of a house! :) LOL i got bit by some kinda bug and my finger seriously swelled so much I had to take my ring off...because i could barely even get it off..o my word it was the most interesting day ever..i loved it and i am so looking forward to the summer because i feel like it can only get more crazy then this..lol!!! but yeah...it is going to be so exciting and i am pumped. I have a wedding to go to this weekend and i am pretty pumped...and then back to the island Sunday <3
peace <3

mm

So...this is kinda sad post..i wont have much of ANY time to write after today....This summer i am going to be working on Word of life island as a counselor...I am so excited to see what God is going to do this summer...man oh man he always does such a great job and i love seeing what he is going to do!!! <3 I would really appreciate prayer!!!!!!!!!! :-D
there is a lot going on..so if you could just continue praying..id love it <3

Canada eh?

wow...what a week God has blessed me with...from the 4th till today what a fantastic time! from hanging out in her house to going to the bay..man it was just a fantastic time of worshiping God and just hanging out with her, and her family!! =D It was a long drive from NY to Canada but i must say i pretty much loved every minute of it..except when i spilled ketchup on my new chucks..but even then it was ok..Jenn's mom was so wonderful and fixed it for me ^_^. Getting into Canada wasn't very hard for me..they weren't very nice to Jenn...which is funny to me, since she is after all Canadian but anyways...
We wrestled a lot..and took road trips and i beat her down completely ;) lol ok maybe not always..but it was honestly just a fantastic relaxing week of sleep, trying new things and getting into Gods word..I will probably write more when im actually...ya know awake but for now its good...

O CANADA

Yes, its true..im in Canada...10 hours...katchup on my favorite pants and shoes..and sleepy time later <3 i love it so far..just so beautiful here...and calm weather so far...today was just relaxing...a time to sleep off the drive and enjoy being somewhere thats not wolbi..lol had a great breakfast at lunch time, sat around...made dinner, took clothes off the line and we r sitting here and going to watch a movie soon. pretty excited about what this week is going to hold :)
I am not to excited about leaving..i know that's going to be a sad day..but i know God gives the strength and not more then we can handle with him...so im not to worried...after i get back i'll figure if im working on the island or not..then we'll go from there..
I DONT have my cell right now because it doesnt work in canada..or i should say it costs bookuu amunts of money to use it so..if u txt me and i dont anwer thats why..not cause im being a jerk ;) LOL <3

YAY

ALRIGHT!!! Well let me just tell you how excited I am!! I am going to Canada in a couple of hours..(well i'm making my way to Canada in a couple of hours!!) I am so excited..and yet a little sad to be ending a chapter of wolbi...but that's ok..God opens and shuts doors eh? (practicing my Canadian ;))
Listening to music and chilling with the best friends i've had this year..what could be better? quite honestly i think nothing ^_^ <3>

xD

SO a little update on my life..
I went to the Orthopedic Surgen today. He said that I need to go to physical theropy 3x's a week for 6-8 weeks....
*sigh*
I am not sure if i am going to be able to work on Word of Life Island now..*sigh* But I know that God is in control so..I shouldn't be worrying..in whatsoever thing..be content...lol
*Shrug*
oOoOo and..on Friday i make my way to CANADA <3

To you know who you are

....Ridiculous is all I can say to what you have written me. When I ask you not to talk to me anymore, and you say you agree...that does not mean in....a couple weeks you can write me telling me AGAIN and AGAIN how much you still like me and how much of a horrible person i am because I still wont date you..please for the love of all that is good and Holy GET OVER YOURSELF.. my word! How can you call yourself a Christian when you are sitting here firing off poems about how i've stolen your joy..and how i have such hypocrisy..yeah I get it I am out of Gods will because im not dating you right well so be it then i guess...
TO all guys out there...who LISTEN TO PEOPLE::: If I don't want to date you...if i dont feel it's were God is leading me im not going to..and any other God fearing girl would tell you the same. and if a girl makes that decision...DONT STALK HER LIKE A FREAK...im not going to lie it doesn't make a girl want to date you any more..not at all..(in case you wondered) ....if they tell you that they cant do it respect it and be a gentleman.. the more you write and the more you obsess the more horrible it makes you look.....
*Sigh*
THE END

yep

Have you ever been ready for something to be over so badly..and yet part of you wants it to continue...*shrug* I am ready to be done word of life that is for sure. So i wonder to myself..why if it's so important to finish well...is it so hard..and maybe that's just why...*Shrug* I don't know i feel like things are going crazy like im in the way and that i just cant do the right things..i frustrate everyone and i should just quit trying..is it satan or truth?! *Shrug* I have so much to pack and i feel like im going to forget something and it's going to be to bad because i have no where to put it ya know...*shrug* O well i guess it doesn't really matter...
I was reading Romans the other day and it just...wow it just hit me hardcore..but like *shrug* i don't know..i get it how good God is and such but like..sometimes..i don't want to care and that is so wrong i know..
I've been having mad issues sleeping..and so ive been taking sleeping pillz..and they've been working really great quite honestly but im getting sick of the effects and so i think im not going to take them anymore..and im a bit nervous about telling my dc..and im a bit nervous about not being able to sleep....BLAH

/...

Frustrated? Yes....
Ready to be done? yes...
I just feel sometimes like i need to get out of here..it's like that when so many things are on our minds and we just cant seem to get them out..when you
are just so sick of all the wrong that you do..and even when you try to do the right thing you feel...like you'll never accomplish the right thing. im there right
now and it really sucks..it's like im trying to fight this battle...im letting God have it but then i screw up..when i dont even think...*sigh* anyway..i just..im not
sure what's wrong with me and why my attitude is so crappy but im getting sick of it ....My "friends" Dont even try to encourage me it seems..and when i do
mess up all they seem to enjoy is bringing me down kinda laughing it up you know? *Sigh* Im ready to be done Lord....
In other news..today was work day on word of life island..and let me tell you something..i was so angry that i had to go..bad night last night and just fought
to have a good attitude..and you know i tried to do it by my own bootstraps..but how foolish of me...to think that i could do it.....
*Sigh* Lord take this horrible attitude away from me. Im done fighting you God, im done doing the things my flesh wants to do. Thank you for people who
point out my problems to me Lord and show me more and more what it's like to be you even though i think i hate it...

xD

Ok...guys i am so so so bored and really kinda tired..I got to hang out in the sun with some people and it was really exciting because i had a lot of fun with it..i got some tanning oil and i got to use it..im kinda not sure if it did anything but w/e <3>

I HAVE A LOT OF NOTHING TO DOOOOOOOO

Weekend

Absolutely nothing...
the end ....ha

Epic? I think yes

Alright...so thursday started off like this ::getting excited classes almost over, READY 2 go get my air cast for my ankle ( i hurt my ankle pretty badly) and getting ready to go to ambers car. Sheila, John and I :)...well well well..we get in the car..sheila starts driving and we hear a thud..uh oh..we all look at eachother...Sheila hit the fire hydrant *sigh* she tries to get unstuck..finally she does and we look at the damage..the fender o dear...well...we drive off to the machanic to see what they can do. he says it has to be back by 2..not going to happen...so we decide to go to e-town and get my stuff and see if theres someone down there that will look at it. SOoooo we get to etown get my stuff and talk to another mechanic who just laughs at Sheila and tells her sucks to be you..so we sigh and drive off to plattsburgh. While in plattsburgh a cop pulls us over..we couldn't figure out why..BUT THEN he says "i pulled you over cuz you aren't wearing your seatbelt" OH SHEILA -_-..(in new hampshire you dont have to wear your seatbelt when drving) praise the Lord she only got a warning...so she wasnt very happy..after that 2cars almost hit us and we almost got into an accident with my best friend -_-..*upside* sheila found her debit card and im getting a new phone..haha so after spending some time @ the mall w/ my best friend, sheila and john we decided it was time to go back home...we almost got hit by a semi, and then we almost ran out of gas..*sigh* after that lol we got back to schroon lake and sheila got pulled over again...for running 2 stop signs (which she didnt even run) ANYWAY..-_-...she got a warning yet again...(God is SOoOoOooO Good!!!)ha...so we stopped got some gas and had some ice cream to calm ourselves down...it was...SooOo epic..oh my word OH And before we got to schroon lake we had to turn around because my best friends car wouldnt start..-_- lol...good times good times <3

blah

Why does it seem like when you need things to be calm it's the most hectic...why when you feel like your friends are all good and everything is good...it just goes Ballistic im not going to lie it's getting to be so much and it's crushing me under its weight...God is so good and I know this but WHY ...is this going on..I know I shouldn't be asking why..I should be asking who...God..that's the answer *shrug* I'm just so sick of this highs chool drama that makes everything difficult for everyone involved.. If anyone who knows right and doesnt do it..to him it is sin..and I do not want it to be sin on my part but I DO NOT WANT TO DEAL W/ THIS..how selfish of me..*sigh* I am just trying to get my attitude back where it should be and it is slowly..i tell you slowly going there...*slam* o well..God is so faithful and i know that so im not quite sure why ....
*shrugs*

blabble

wow! Life has been so crazy lately..-_- it seems like updating people on what it's been like is going to be just as insane..lol i thought i guess id be a lot easier then this to keep myself updated..but alas those things are not true. anyways...*cough* ahem...Life has been hecktic...this is certainly true, but the exciting thing is, as hecktic as life gets..I know God's got my back..and that's just something im continually learning because it's hard..like i have no idea what to do about after word of life. i dont think im going to be able to come to second year because my grades arent that good..and it kills me i dont know what im going to be able to do..i am...blhahhjdjf ANYWAY im trying not to worry and im trying to know that God has great plans for me and that he loves me and is waiting for me to jump on to that plan..it's just a bit more scary then i expected it to be..Im growing, and it's insane to see....im going to canada hopefully with my dc during break! :) How exciting is that going to be?!?! W00t and suuuch L-O-L I put in my passport application, and got my picture and everything friday...so we will see..they said 4-6 weeks..so may 21st i should have it, it could happen before..but maybe later? they dont know..*sigh* it's a scary scary thing to have but..i know w/e happens God is in control. I want to learn how to drive and thats why i think im going to not work on the island but we will see *sigh* GOD IS SO GOOD..i love him im just so scared of what i dont know...
*BLAH*

w00t

yeah hello...rock on world..throwing a disco party in my dc's bathroom..what now world what now ;)

xXx

Hello Hello, yes i''ll admit it has been a little bit but that's ok and im sure you can deal with that fact...I have a funeral to go to today and i am not really excited about it but I am resting in the fact that God has ap lan in everything he has done and is going to do..so i am alright with this..or slowly getting there..i wish that I could say i knew the reason that all of this was happening but that's ok :) ...God is so faithfull and everything that is happening....*sigh* I wish that I knew what was going on but i dont..:) I am going to go take a quiz...and then take a nap...AND THEN go to a funeral...after a nap...R.I.P Grandpa...<3 u and miss you

Balloon Party

Yeah..like i said we pranked my dc..i thought id put some fun in w/ it and make a little video slideshow...oy im sick and tired and tired and sick but it's ok because whose in controL!?!?!? NOOOOT ME ;)

yup

God has just been slamming me lately with truths in his word..and man let me tell you I NEED IT (like he doesnt know that) But legit..like man he is so good!!! it has been kinda hecktic if you couldn't tell from my other blogs and just been a hard time kinda, and so...God really just showed me psalm 121 and wow...I loved it, and God really showed me truth through it but i wasn't completely ...in my head you know how that goes? mmm....so today we had a devo on it today!! WORD?!?!? Can you tell me how awesome our God is and how he works...through the stupidiest of our ideas...

interesting

Im sad/excited to tell you that iw ont be online for the next week.I am doing a bible study with my discipler, and we have decided to take it to the next level and actually do something about the things we are reading. we are reading about media, and so i am going to stop using internet and cell for a week..it will be trying, but i will spend the time not online..and hopefully i will be spending time in the word of God, because after all so much more important anyway :)

ANGRY

hey! At least I told it someone who can keep a secret. I could have told TJ. It would have been all over campus by last night! furthermore, I'm moving on with my life. I don't really think you get it! My weakness is that I care too much. So to compensate I've decided that I don't care. Here are the exact words I gave Kevin. I give a crap about you, but I don't care about you anymore. If you ruin your life on other guys like Jef, I'm just gonna sit back and say "I told you so". I'll still be here, but I'm not gonna dive to deep into your life anymore. I'm not gonna worry about your personal life. You said you wanted to be friends. I like being acquaintances better. Then we dn' have to worry about talking too much.

Furthermore this is some of the crap that I'm talking about! "Why do you need to talk about me?" Oh boo hoo! Woe is me! Grow up. I mean that int he nicest way possible. First of all, Kevin asked about the reason I came up, "if it involved a certain somebody". Next time get your facts. I also knew that you would pull the God card. You really don't want to change. If you did you would have started by now. You are the same Sarah as last spring. That is the problem. Changing (just like salvation) begins with a conscious decision to turn from your sins. I've started realizing the need for change, and the need for God to change that. I also don't think that you know what grace really is!

Don't take this as an offensive letter and disregard it (which I'm sure will happen!). I'm telling this because I hate you. I'm telling you this because I love you. I do. Maybe it is changing, but I still hold you up to the same standard as I've always had. I still give a crap, and will be saddened upon your hurt, but I'm looking to be too involved in your life anymore. I'm too dangerous for you, and you are too dangerous for me. It works both ways.

May you grow in the grace and knowledge (truly grow, not just simmer) of our Lord Jesus Christ,

Michael Beauharnois






REALLY!??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

To you..

HOW do you help someone
who doesnt want help?
They say they want to change...
But when you try they say thnx..but no thanks
It's losing me....
and im afraid im losing them
I want to help so badly
God your the only answer to this issue
Make her see the pain i feel..
Show her how much I care
That this isnt something i enjoy
That being right isn't a thing i like
I love her and want whats best for her...
AHHH WHY CANT YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME
I know what it's like to struggle with addiction ...
I know that its harder then people think...
And the only answer is God
*sigh*

woord to ur snuggie

OK SERIOUSLY.....
Today ended up being such a great day! Started out this morning getting up at 8:30 to go to my house by 9! grabbed the car, grabbed the girls and started on the road. got to my house about..9:45 and made breakfast...we played singstar, watched mulan and hair spray and just had such a great time! we even made a video! It was just such a beautiful thing..I Really enjoyed hanging out w/ my friends! I even got to see my madre..OH PRAISE THE LORD! I really wanted to see her because im going to my friends house for spring break so ;) friends house was important you know?
anyway...yeah This video..is in revenge to the Snuggie monster video they made for snow camp. its not really against them i just wanted to make one...and i thought this would be mad funny *sigh* lol how can you not enjoy something like that? ...anyway! this week i think is going to be a fabulous week..but only time will tell...after devos chilling w/ my dc/discipler...:) rock on time..
until later home fries
<3 chill

yay

wow! Long weekend! I counseled..and im not sure if i said before counseling, how much i didnt want to counsel but let me just share with you that i didnt want to ..and i wasnt afraid to let people know..man my attitude was so horrible going in to the whole thing..I just knew that something was going to go wrong and i would end up being like c..i told you i shouldnt and be a jerk..*Sigh* lol God really did work on my patience this weekend but you know what im so thankful he did! a lot of things are going on..a lot of things going on..and oh the hurt for some of the girls and what they are going through..*sigh* God is working and sadly so is satan...he makes it so easy for those girls to realize that ....they can have the time of their "lives" And no consequences will come out of it..sadly we all know thats one big lie....
I gave my testimony infront of atleast 404 snow campers and like...200 0r 300 staff..they were the most nerve racking moments b4 ...but then when i got to it..wow God gave me so much peace..and thats when i realized he really wanted me doing it..not for myself, but of course to bring glory to him..which i love to do...UGH! SO GOOD God showed me so much of my stupidity this weekend im so..happy :)

Im ganna be around

i've been quite frustrated lately..if you havent figured it out..it continues to get worse seemingly daily..I Know God has a handle on it..sometimes I just wish i could *shrugs* anyway...I decided today i really enjoyed sitting in the back of the class room not the front...one day in the back is just beautiful...2 bad it's only 1 day..anyway its been a pretty bad day but God is good and..i trust him..
I wrote this poem and wanted to share it
Holding on to the branch weakly
I ask for forgiveness,begging meekly
Lord my heart was torn in two
The only one I should serve is you
I grasped the branch with all I had
The memories, they all hurt so bad
Like crashing wind and rain it slashed
My heart felt like garbage, it felt trashed
I grabbed the sword and cut through
Looking for the good, what was true
Ask for forgiveness and it is yours
He is always knocking on those doors
To your heart, let him have it all


Thank you Lord

do it

http://www.formspring.me/StaticMadness

Our God

Who loves life more then our God? NO ONE..ok so yeah..lately life hasn't been what exactly id call enjoyable..but w/e it happens right?? So i've been thinking about Romans 8:28,29..all things word together for Good for those who have been called, and you know...(Read the verses lol) I thought it was so cool..and a great reminder..[[ALL]] things! Word for [[good]]...ok so not just the things we like, not just the things we have control over.. ALL things happen so that we are brought closer to God..and I just really enjoyed that today.. I have been dealing with stuff but our God is so good and i just wanted to update that :)<3

VaLeNtInEs DaY

Life has been:::
Crazy amazing upsetting fantastic uber fake realistic trying confusing loving distant and passionate! YEAH TAKE THAT...*laughs* Ok legit this week has been one of the craziest weeks ive ev er had..but I know that God has a plan in all of it...my God everyday blog..is becoming a God...when i can blog :( It's sad but i hope they know i go to wolbi and it's a bit harder then i thought to do it everyday. Snow camp this weekend was fabulous. Jenn came back, and :) She loved the pranks we pulled (go to Youtube.com/MuffinMadness12 to watch that ;) It's fabulous stuff..anyway 47 people got saved that they know of...so :)
Praise be to God..
Im going to bed loves
xXx

1 Corinthians 1 - Passage Lookup - New International Version - BibleGateway.com

1 Corinthians 1 - Passage Lookup - New International Version - BibleGateway.com: "4I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. 5For in him you have been enriched in every way—in all your speaking and in all your knowledge— 6because our testimony about Christ was confirmed in you. 7Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. 8He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful."

Right now

Oh,
God i am so frustrated and hurting..i am so lost in the right thing to do. when i do the right things people seem to get so angry..when i try not to use people, and not lead them on Lord it's as if the whole thing was my fault anyway. God i just want to do whats right in your eyes, and Lord you know my heart better then anyone, even I. So Lord please take this pain, and if you see it fit for the pain to stay, show me Lord what I am to do with it. because it hurts so bad....I am just...lost in confusion, but you Oh Lord are the God of organization not chaos..bring me to my knees..rid me of myself oh Lord...
*Sigh*

Frustrated...Why wait?

So many things are going on in my mind..and im questioning so much…right now I just..i don’t know. I lost friends, im losing friends and I just..I don’t know. My grandpa is having surgery tomorrow on his heart. I am not excited about that..Im really hoping not to have to go to another funeral. My mom lost her mother and I don’t think she will be ok if she loses her father. School has been stressful and I feel like im being judged a lot. I am working on that feeling, and trying to keep my mind on things of God, but Oh Lord I am so frustrated and you know that…They are making my friends take out their dreads…and I am quite worried that Gauges will be the next thing to go..if they make gauges go..I am to afraid I wont be able to deal w/ it..do you know how much money I spent on these….*Sigh* I guess I Shouldn’t think about it right now. That doesn’t make anything better… but anyway yeah…Im working snack shack again this weekend when I REALLY…kinda wanted to counsel my snow camper from last year but *shrugs* I guess that is where God wants me…and I can deal with that. My dc is gone this week and it feels like a major hole L I love her lots and miss her but she will be back Saturday (so LONG) I’ve done a lot of my school work and gotten it in on time and it isn’t in my grades yet and so they have gone down and im upset about that..I am going to have a talk with them…I am going to have to..I cannot risk failing again especially when im trying hard…why does it feel like the school is against me…. L
UGHS ……..I need attitude help. I just want to tell the whole admin office how I feel..and that’s so wrong