Dying for me

It's early..I haven't slept and i cannot go to church until the p.m...[[what's wrong w/ this picture]]...idk why but, apparently in the middle of the night i heard sirens, and then i started having a dream..my cat sleeping next to me woke me up and i had a mini flip out session lol ...<> lol In other news..my tattoos have been very itchy..more lotion, or less cats >_< I haven't decided what the answer is yet..im hoping it's the first one though..ANYWAYZ...what a bum update, but that's really all thats worth talking about lately..im going to play casting crowns and sleep some...
WISH ME LUCK
<3

i lift my hands

im so ghetto..let's just admit it..ok i didn't really have a reason for writing this..i just wanted to put a picture on cuz im mad bored...pretty much the most amount of bored i've ever been in my whole entire life...::Sigh:: i was going 2 shopping but alas my mother let me down as did my father.but..heck why wouldn't i be used to that? *shrugs* ANYWAYZ..school soon..:::Blahz::::
<3

Hell

I am so frustrated right now...I've been trying to be strong for so many people, trying to help them with their problems whenever it comes and it's really slamming me down to nothing...I am trying and trying..and I know the Lord is my strength but i am ....mentally slashing my wrists..i honestly dont know what to do anymore..i've been strong..in Christ ive been strong..but im starting to lose it..im starting to not want to go back to wolbi, im starting to realize how messed up this world is..and how people use you over and over and over again ...that you know what the world really is going to hell..and ..im starting to wonder if there is anything i can do about it...

Got a debt to pay

WOW! Merry Christmas,Happy birthday Jesus ^_^ How exciting!! Christmas is always a pretty..chill holiday for the Thompson's. we sit around at home just enjoying things going on...last year I went back to sleep. lol. It's sad though sometimes because...what i would love to do is just talk about God with my family, show them what he means to me but it's like to me sometimes that they don't care! :( o wellz, anyway...
Our God is so good and I am very excited! At least I can show him my praise ^_^ I get to see my sister today and i am very excited. I plan to make a video later about the year of 2009....im a little bit excited..but nervous at the same time lol..we'll c how that turns out ^_^ <3I think im going to go out w/ the family now see whats going on ..
God bless all <3

Famous one

Ok..so first b4 i type...here is my feelings
"She said I don't know if I've ever been good enough
I'm a little bit rusty, and I think my head is caving in
And I don't know if I've ever been really loved
By hand that's touched me, well I feel like something's gonna give
And I'm a little bit angry, well " a lot has been going on..in the last couple days OY! I know God is good, I know he has all of this under control and yet sometimes i just sit here and worry..wondering what he's going to do with all of this..but the best thing is it doesn't matter..because HE'S IN CONTROL! not quite sure why..i can give such good info to people..but not myself blehz..oh well It's officially Christmas eve and I am thankful for the friends the family and of Course my God.. Happy Christmas eve my darlings <3 I love you...

Indeed

God is so good..*sigh* ^_^ And the most amazing part is..he blesses us no matter what. you know like...WE ARE SUCH IDIOTS sometimes ((Ok most of the time))and yet he still decides to bless us...It...is so odd..but I am so thankful. Today was a wonderful day, as was yesterday...oh my word ((I love the bennett's and tonya)) OY! we had such a good day! we watched the Dark Knight and Hellboy 2...rock on son! chaa..we had pizza,wings,bagle bites..pizza bites and Brownies...AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG......
The bridge isn't going to explode until Monday which is sad, because we were going to watch it tomorrow..but alas..that's the way it goes. I am heading home tomorrow in the a.m. so that we can be ready to go to my grandmothers house to celebrate Christmas eve...(see fake excitement) I am enjoying break..so much and having a hard time remembering why i wanted to go back to wolbi. but a good friend who was having issues wanting to go back..showed me as well w/ what God was showing me to say..showed me that thats why i needed to go back to..ive learned so much,i've grown so much..lets finish that off w/ some good old fashin GOD TIME @ wolbi ;) Our God is such a good God..and i am PUMPED..to be a part of his work this snow camp...<3 <3 Thank you Lord for the blessings you extend to us...

That is the way it is...

ok, so back to life...since i couldn't write about it yesterday since i was so pissed off..*Sigh* BUT ANYWAY :::
I came to the Bennett's last night. but not b4 awesomely hanging w/ Mat,Tonya, and Dan :) I had so much fun...just like the old days i couldn't even believe it! We even listened to "believe in a thing called love" from The darkness..^_^It was one of the best days i've had in a long time =D!!I am having a bit of a hard time w/ some decisions i've had to make..I hate hurting people, but it seems that's all i'm good at as of late...but at least where I am it'll be ok and...that's all that matters currently.
I want to help people, I want to be there for people..but if they aren't willing to do what God wants them to do then it doesn't matter...nothing will change! All I know is My God loves me..and he loves you and that we need to live for him..and that he is my strength, and w/e is going on he is stronger then my yesterdays and he holds me close today...and man he has my future.. :) I'm also confused on some advice I got, and the fact that...i'm just not sure if it was good advice.. *Sigh* IM CONFUSED AND LOST <3

RANT

Legit..
COME ON (just a warning this is going to be a rant)im so frustrated right now.. WHY do you even say you want to live for God and do SUCH STUPID THINGS??!?!? WHEN YOU KNOW PEOPLE CARE ABOUT YOU!!! EVEN AFTER UVE HURT ME ..I WANT TO HELP ITS DONE ITS OVER W/ PLEASE JUST TALK TO ME ABOUT IT.....STOP ACTING LIKE LIFE NEEDS TO STOP..GOD LOVES YOU AND THATS THE WAY YOU KNOW IT IS..I DONT THINK IVE EVER BEEN MORE FRUSTRATED THEN UPSET BEFORE...
I DEAL WITH CRAPPY STUFF TO..I HATE HURTING PEOPLE, AND WHEN IT HAPPENS YEAH IT PISSES ME OFF..BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I LOOK BACK TO MY LORD AND REALIZE IF IM FOLLOWING HIM THATS ALL THAT MATTERS
PLEASE...IF YOU READ THIS TALK TO ME..BECAUSE JEF YOU NEED TO STOP BEING IN THIS CRAP SIN YOUR DOING AND COME BACK..:(

Love Love Love

*smirks* It's so funny to me...how God works..I'm confused i'm not going to lie..but awkwardly enough I feel so much peace about it..^_^ It excited me so...to see what God has been doing away...I am just so excited..THANK YOU SO MUCH LORD for blessing me....
sometimes I feel..well I know that I dont deserve it Lord..and ugh..Lord you know my heart about everything that's going on..and I am so thankful for that knowledge..Thank you for being a God that understands..and a God that knows me more then i've ever wanted to be known...*dances in circles* I dont even know what else to say....*Sigh* lol I am....so thankful..just i cant even think of the words i have to say..oh man i know im rambling but..im so happy..and
I just wanted to say..i dont know who reads this but if you dont know the Lord....you need to! Eternity is nothing to joke around about...and if your a Christian and your not "living for the Lord" YOU NEED TO because guys..what is this world about if...not living for the Lord who saves us from the pits of hell!!God...thank you for sending your son to die for us..Lord its so amazing to see that....Your love is never ending...

You're greater then my yesterdays...

So im learning first off that I need to be a much more patient person. lol..I'm waiting for a few packages and guess what they aren't here yet and it's flustering my life.. which shouldn't be happening lol but guess what..it is and that needs to change! Ok I would love to ask you guys to pray for a good friend of mine Luke. His dad got into a pretty bad car accident and the family is pretty shaken up. The father is stable,and Lord willing will make it...but they are very shaken and really just need God's peace currently..id really appreciate if you could just pray for them about that :)...thnx all...
In other news like 2 weeks until i go back to wolbi and I cannot even tell you how excited I am to rekindle the relationships w/ my friends..and just everyone there.im a little bit nervous about going there for some reasons but it'll be ok..The Lord is my strength and he is the only one I need to make me strong :) AHHH I love the Lord so much..
I pray all of you have an amazing Christmas season...

Thank you

Let me just tell you how excited I am to be getting my stuff!?! I'm pumped. I have some rasta stuff going (which im very excited about!! and then I have a present from a friend coming! It's very exciting!! So im watching lil creepers and its pretty much the best little show ever...haha its very fun. they are playing pink the tail on the ogre...I've never seen something this funny in a while..im not going to lie..anyways..I just wanted to tell whats going on and enjoy things happening <3
God is so good and im so glad that hes been showing me what it means to be a true woman of God..
Thank you Lord

Praise the Lord!

So, pretty much today was a dud...lol! I was in pain all day, and there wasn't much to do. Exciting enough my brother and I spent a good amount of time just watching a movie and a half today =D it was really good just to spend time with him....Hmm It was an emotionally hard day, awkward as all get out! I am so thankful for my friend Bekah. We are getting really close and it's so amazing just to be able to talk, and get lifted up closer to God from one christian to another! Truth be told it was awkward today for some other reasons lol ...and im just not sure what im going to do w/ myself..I've been listening to Lecrae and, just other worship..and man how great it is that I can worship my God 24/7.
Talked to a lot of old friends today...good and awkward at the same time. talked about God a lot, and just the Christian religion,and how things were going with that. :)17/16 days till we go back to wolbi and OH LORD I am so nervous..I can't even tell you how nervous I am just about some stupid things but OH how thankful I am that snow camp is coming Lord and the knowledge you will use me no matter what is the most exciting thing ever...
OH LORD I LOVE YOU =D

TODAY

^_^ pretty much today was a LOT a lot of fun! I went shopping with mi madre e padre...it was a lot of fun trying on random clothes, and just do random things... LOL we took lots of random pix like::Anyway lets just say it was a good time for my madre and i!!!..Besides that though not a lot went on today! I was excited to get my friend Mike his christmas present, and ready to send it out tomorrow! so yeah!! OoooooO i also ordered some stuff off of Gospelreggae.com so yeah! I am very excited to see when its going to come and figure out lahhhhh dee dah im so excited :)
I <3 GOD SO MUCH

choices

Choices, there are so many to make in our lives...the way that we live, the way that we chose to act the...talk we talk and the walk we walk...It's a hard line to walk, and in the end the choice has to be yours....It's so exciting to me that the Lord is on our side no matter what Goes on. As long as the strength in your walk continues. it's so amazing to see...*nods* God is just so good...When you have to make hard choices for God..it's hard....it is exactly hard..but man oh man...^_^...I am just so thankful for everything that the Lord is doing for me...I am just...I dont even know what to do..:) other then praise him for the God he is :)
<3

Quit playing games with my heart

Guarding your heart...what an important thing that I so obviously over look so much of the time. I wont lie. I am so thankful for the friends that I have that dont give up on me..even when I do stupid things, and let things get to me more then they should.
Thank you guys seriously..you've been amazing friends and I am thankful for it!
How joyful it is being able to praise the Lord, knowing that when we do things the Lord has us to do..that we will in the end be blessed because he is faithful..I am so thankful to my God and king for being in control..Lord knows i could never do anything right without him..(Still have a hard time sometimes with him) LOL
<3

and the truth is

I can't even express the...emotions inside right now..it's almost like..idiotic..frustration plus Joy..because even though it may be wrong i get a certain joy out of knowing that finally they realized guess what YOU SCREWED up. and the truth is..I couldn't even tell you if it's genuine or not because you lied so much that it's like Is this real emotion or just big talk for everyone to see and make you look like a good guy!!!! And to think that you thought that YOU ALMOST KILLED ME..do you not get it..I learned a long time ago not to make men my world. the only thing in my world is Christ and he is the top dog..the only dog as far as im concerned! Im so thankful for my Christian friends who are living for Christ and help me day by day not grow bitter and realize what I have in Christ. The amazing truth is I dont need anyone else but Christ. How AMAZING IS THAT! Im just so frustrated right now i dont even know what to think..but its so amazing to be able to get it out like this..just let it flow and know that God...knows already *sigh*Who condemns us but Christ..who am I to condemn, i am no one..but someone who must forgive and love..because thats who Christ calls me to be...
even if it hurts like heck sometimes
.....
<3

Oh how it is

I am currently loving the life in which i lead! It's getting stressful..and sometimes it is frustrating. Things don't work out the way I think they should, or you know...ugh...God is so good....^_^
I have been on break and sometimes it feels like I haven't been on break long enough ;) I'll be back Jan 2nd...^_^ but man i feel like it's just really not long enough..which is saying something because I never have wanted to stay home for this long. MAN!! LOL
I have come to the grips w/ the fact that i am a complete and utter freak. and the best part is that I <3 it lol...
I am so thankful that I have friends, that I have a family that loves me, and that God is with me all the way!
I dont really have much of a news update....erm..New hair cut..loving it so much, i cannot stop loving things... UGH <3 Lord thank you so much for my friends and my life...The pain isn't anything you cant deal w/ ;)

Love the Lord

Lord-
I dont even know..the words lord..they don't come the way they are supposed to..but i know Lord that you are in control, and i know that you are the master of everything. And I thank you so much for that, and the fact that everything that happens..is in your hands. Even if the person its happening to refuses to believe that. Lord I just ask you for strength, in doing whats right lord, that I didn't do anything stupid LOrd, that this will be taken care of and that...
Lord you know my tears fell because of the love i have for my friend. that he is one of the best, and Lord i just know the pain hes feeling is sometimes going to get worse. God please give him strength. Lord show him who you are. get this girl away from him, who drags you away from him....Thank you so much Lord
I LOVE YOU!!!!

^_^

SoOooo im going bowling tonight, getting my hair cut and going shopping! I AM SO EXCITED! I'm going to be getting this hair cut!!! Isn't it exciting looking..But i just hope it goes well..I'm going to take, b4 after pics and then i'm going to!!! xD i am excited to see how this works out YAY BOWLING YAY BOWLING YAY <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Just wanted to let you all know im alive, loving life, and going to be gone..;)

At your feet

Ok! So, God has slammed in the face for a couple things. I know what Jef did was wrong, and what he's doing right now by ignoring me isn't so right either..But, it's his choice and God will use that for him, and for me. I am not upset with him anymore, i am hurt w/ the situation...But so thankful that God has taken me out of it, and shown me that It will be better off for me not to be with him. That he has some growing to do, and that one day he will truly be an awesome man of God. But until that day...anyway.
It's just exciting to see that God doesn't waste pain. and further then that. The fact that he's taking away the pain that I could feel and putting praise on my lips for his name :)!!!!!!!!!! OooooooOOoOo
It was my birthday yesterday! and it was awesome! I got so many birthday wishes, spend the day by my lonesome but def enjoyed the night with the family. It was filled with laughter, killing frosty the snow cake and just watching hoodwinkd. OH cant forget exorcise lol...anyway it was awesome and I am thankful for my family..and my friends who are there for me when I need them, and even when i think i dont...<3

Played

Right so..I'm not going to lie...I am currently pissed off..OK SO lets get this straight....
*You lied
*You lied some more
*You LIED ABOUT LYING
*You screw me over
*start dating another girl
*act like i dont exist
*add me and shove it in my face
*have your girl message me
*OH PLZ LETS CONTINUE
oh and have ur girl erase me....*Slams face on table*
HAPPY FREKEN BIRTHDAY ;)

Last day of being 21

W-O-W it seems so weird that tomorrow I am going to be 22..and you know this twenty second year of my life is going to be different. I am going to grow closer to my Lord then anything else. I want to show people his love, let people see HIS light through me. I refuse to be afraid to spread the gospel. I am going to tell anyone I can, when given the opportunity. You may be saying wow ...Sarah that's a high order..lots of people say it, but God has changed me SO much in so much that I need to tell people about him...Being in love w/ my God..is an amazing feeling and I am so thankful for this feeling...*sigh* :)
twenty two....can you please just explain to me how this happened? It seems I remember turning 15. and hating that i was getting old..and now it seems to be 22..lol I am rejoicing in the fact that Christ has everything in my life set up..no matter what seems to be happening....Snow camp is coming up right after Missions confrence in January and i am so pumped! God is going to be showing us what he can do...and i am excited to be able to allow him to work through me :-D
I am going to go do quiet time and re write my biblical principles on dating..I think that sometimes when we feel like we want something..we change things to fit our needs..and im not going to allow that to happen anymore. Im changing my biblical principles to fit exactly what Christ has for me :)
Everlasting..your light will shine when all else fades...amen <3

Along came the pain!

Sometimes the pain we are going through at the time...is just the thing we need. This sucks for me a lot, and i'm not saying it doesn't hurt for him. I think that he has made mistakes, but people don't need to badger him for it. I understand they want to stick up for me, they are my friends but...I wish they could see what they are doing to the friendship we are trying to salvage from this pain...
God is in control of it all right? if he wanted us together then either we would be or we will be. as far away from our sights as it is that's the truth. and I am completely in the knowledge that he is our all sufficient creator and when he wants something to happen it will happen...wither it's the easy way or the hard way..
Saying that...I am hurting..guys im hurting a lot, this was hard for me..but it's also showing me that I can truthfully say Christ is my sufficiency, and that when im in pain he is there HE IS ALWAYS THERE....and for that I thank Jef more then anything because it is truly giving me the chance to....show what im made of so to speak.
NOW on to less depressing news...I cannot believe im going to be 22 tomorrow (the 9th) eww..I feel so old sometimes lol! But my sister is coming over and i am so pumped! Ya know..just want to throw it out there..while this whole thing has been going on ive been listening to mostly if not all praise music and it's just...so uplifting to know how much Christ cares, and loves us.....
anyway i just wanted to chuck that your way ;)

Blessed be the name of the Lord

How good is our God??!?!? Seriously...*sigh* it's amazing to me..to see the peace that he gives me..and the joy that he gives me when other people would be feeling so bad for themselves like..wow I am just so blessed to have a God who loves me as much as he does...
LEt me tell you something..When you go through something hard, and you know that very well it could destroy you.. It doesn't..when you give it to God..it just....it hurts and yeah it will but Guess what..God is in control..Proverbs 3:5,6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding..in all YOUR ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight" hmmm Can I hear an AMEN?!?! *laughs* Yeah...well im ok guys honestly, im hurt but wow..God is doing soo..amazing hes so kind and so gracious (imagine that..our God ;) ) lol anyways...yeah im done rambling just so thankful for God..and his love <3

Shut up and put your money where your mouth is

WOW..that's what God's been telling me lately..if i say I trust him, and I act like everything EVERY little thing is driving my emotions, and I live by those emotions what kind of person am i being?a hypocrite..and a girl ;) lol but more then that a hypocrite. My God is in control of it all and i need to get over myself and deal with that...I'm quite frustrated because, currently it seems like Jef and I will not be able to chill on my birthday =\ which hurts a bit because that's what I really REALLY wanted to do, chill w/ my bestie and Jef...but *Shrugs* we will see..Im asking my madre if she can get him, and i'll give her some money..more then whats needed because, hey why not she would do that for me then she deserves money. If that doesnt happen that idk what im going to do, because it kinda bothers me.. a little bit that i dont do anything or have any fun on my birthday..:( BUT i will have great joy because if i terry, and if the Lord of course does I Will have another year, say another day to tell people about Christ and uplift him...
:)