W-O-W....
can i please just tell you how this week has completely SHAKEN any idea i had about this year and how it was going to go?....
Today(last week) I was so excited to go back to word of life..I was shaking w/ anticipation, ready to get out of this house and packed already! Monday came...( I wanted to leave and be there wednesday) I got a call...and i really thought nothing of the $ aspect..i thought oh...it'll be taken care of. i mean..in all honesty i've never had to worry about that..to much..so i talked to my mom and ya we just figured id all work out so i was still ready to go..ya God ya..im going on wednesday yes i am....
Tuesday-in the morning thought it was all figured out and was excited still all packed, still ready to go...Then my mom told me that night i couldn't go...and my heart crashed..I mean i think legit crashed...I had myself a good ol' self pitty party...because lets face it..if i had a choice to be home..or there....(id be anywhere else but home) ...
wed-well the rest of the week..I am not going to lie..it has been one of the hardest weeks of my life.. DONT GET ME WRONG...this isn't me just whining because i am not going to wol..( i am ) BUT being home isnt...great...
All this week i have faught (and still am honestly) fighting feelings of anger,doubt(as to this is the right thing) come on ...God you sure (YOU"VE BEEN THERE 2),jealousy...and feeling like people are forgetting me...
But....today at church ..and through psalm 86,psalm 145...God has just really been showing me how GOOD he is..and how he LOVES me and how he has plans for my good..and these things are so good for us to know..but when you...live it, when you feel it..its completely different. Now please dont misunderstand me. I KNOW People are going through things a lot worse then me. If i could stop and explain all the circumstances to you...well i probably wouldn't but..that's ok ...regardless of the circumstances..God is still there showing us who we are and who HE IS ...(that's the better one).....
NOW WHAT I'VE LEARNED (this week) CAUSE I HAVE...A LOT :::
1. I need to stop complaining- I go through things i don't like..and instead of looking for what God is doing in it..i sit there and say this isn't fair, i dont deserve it and blah....
2.(Praising God in all things) Wooo...I NEED to do that..and it goes so much better when i do...
3.Trials/problems (yes dr.wicks) Really are our little buddies...they are showing me who God is..and how much strength he has...and how weak I am
4.God wants to make me more like his son....and he is going to do what it takes to make that happen. some of us learn easier then others..(i've never been a fast learner) LOL
-i am not saying God's punishing me...btw....I can choose to be thankful or complain
5.I cannot count on people....I shouldn't count on people..(this is something very hard for me) when i hurt..i want to talk to people about it..i want people to be around so I DONT FEEL the pain....but that's not the way it should be.... I AM COMPLETE in CHRIST..not in YOU *whoever is reading* lol... :)
-God is my strength and my salvation....(not my best friend...not my mom...not my brother, my sister....or Mrs.Bennett) (had to add her in) .... :)
...OK Legit..im done rambling....but I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW God has such great things planned for me..and It's still going to be a struggle for me but I KNOW he is able..and I am able w/ him *phil 4:13*
..:)
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